Remembering to hold 'em near and dear

I've been asked one question a lot lately: what is it that I miss the most?

One of the first things that comes to mind, of course, is my freedom. The ability to go where I want when I want, wear what I want how I want, and to talk to whomever I want when I want. I am now beginning to see areas in my life I have taken for granted. To me, some of these freedoms were just a normal part of my life, but I now know that this really is not the case for every woman. This idea of loss of freedom really opens up so many more thoughts for me, but I'll have to share more thoughts on it later because there is something I miss more than that.

For my colleague, it's Fruity Pebbles and Steak.

For me, I'd have to say it's my family.

I think I'm often reminded of them because

1. I may or may not get a little home sick at times (shhh.. don't tell) 

and 

2. I see people hanging out with their families here all the time. 

This is some of my family (Jamaica 2011)

The culture here is like a web of family networks. The families are big, and people always share stories about their cousins and uncles (which may really be their uncle's uncle, cousin's second cousin, etc.). They spend most of their time with family.

This family-focused culture plays a major role in someone's life here. For both men and women, upholding your family's reputation is important. No one wants to bring shame on their family, but the more I learn about families in general here, my mind begins to spin with questions. One thought made me think about the reason family is a big part of this city in the first place. Since it's considered one of the most progressive areas here, I thought the younger generation would begin to branch out and try a more independent lifestyle. That is not the case, though, when it comes to family and relationships. The city is modern in other ways, but sticking closely to your family still remains 'the norm.'

One reason for a big family network here is the fact that it's not uncommon for people to marry their cousins.

When I learned this, I thought it was ... different. I didn't really know how to feel about that.

 I questioned the reason for inter-family marriages, and a local resident answered me in a way that made it seem obvious, "How would you know if you could trust someone if they were not in your family?"

To an extent, this totally makes sense. This region has encountered its share of tensions. They've been oppressed. Racially discriminated. Economically hurt. Attacked. And sadly, there's more that could probably be added to the list.

Thus, they have a point. In hard times, and with a history of experience (that didn't really occur too long ago), it's probably safer to stick with the people you know and trust. This would most-likely be your family.

Thinking about the close relationships in the families here reminded me of my family. Before I left, I received a few phone calls from aunts, uncles and cousins who simply loved on me and wished me the best. They are the sweetest.  One uncle called me while I was fixing my suitcase. He was really encouraging too. And when I landed, a few other family members messaged me to check in and see how my time was going. I even was reminded of a few nights before I left. I was packing and working late into the night while l had my sister on speakerphone. Classic. I love moments like this.

My family ... I just love them. and this is definitely what I miss the most. All they do is show me love. Simply grateful.